Apparently you’re not prepared to be a parent unless you’re worried about if you’ll be good at it. At least, that’s the “conventional” wisdom people seem to throw around a lot, like anxiety is a sign you’re totally ready to be a parent.
We all know that is not true, at least not 100% of the time. If you’re truly concerned about how you will feed or clothe your child, don’t reproduce. It’s honestly that simple.
If, on the other hand, you have concerns but a plan to make it work, then chances are you’re more ready than if you were freaking out about it.
The same things seems true to me when it comes to lifestyle. If you’re honestly thrown into a panic when you think about what you’ll have to give up when you’re a parent, now is not the time to give it up. Parenting, to me, seems to involve a lot of judging what’s more important to you (like a clean house versus active lifestyles) and if you aren’t prepared to compromise a little on your pre-child standards, maybe it’s not something you’re ready for.
But here’s my confession: I’m not worried if I’ll be a good parent. Again, conventional wisdom often suggests that if you’re not filled with dread at the prospect of each of your choices irrevocably screwing up your kid’s life, then you’re not aware enough of the impact a parent has on a child’s life. I’m not worried about this either.
Here’s why, in a nutshell:
- Kids are remarkably resilient
- You WILL make mistakes. The trick is making sure to correct them, either with apologies or modeling the correct behavior, whichever is appropriate to the mistake you made.
- I had amazing parents, who raised a decent child themselves. I feel very confident going forward because I don’t have a list of things I don’t want to do differently – I have a HUGE list of things I want to do the same as my parents. Good examples of successful techniques and approaches are empowering.
What about you? Do you think you should be nervous? Why, and how much, if so? Why not?