I am so excited to finally have hit my double-digit countdown to my due date. It makes it seem attainable, something I really need right now. Lately, every evening I’ve felt like absolute rubbish, dealing with pain and unable to have any downtime after work.
After my doctor’s appointment last week, it doesn’t look like that’s going away any time soon. I was diagnosed with sciatica, and it isn’t something they can “fix” because sciatica is caused by some other condition – in my case, pregnancy. Their stated goal with treatment is to diminish the pain by 50%. So I would still be in near-constant pain, just a lesser degree of it. And the treatment? Is going to either a physical therapist or chiropractor, multiple times a week. I’m not interested in doing that, because our insurance doesn’t cover the cost of anything until we hit our deductible, and there’s no resolution. It doesn’t make sense to me, rational or financial, to pay someone to treat me multiple times a week, miss work because I have to be at said treatments, and pay out-of-pocket for those treatments, when the condition causing the problem isn’t going to get fixed. I talked it over with my husband and decided that I will not pursue treatment for those reasons.
A lot of my life seems taken up by concerns lately. We just found out a good friend moved up his wedding to the end of September, and it means a lot to my husband that I attend. Since he seldom asks things like that of me, I agreed to go and go approved for time off from work (looking forward to that part!). But the wedding is an 8-hour car ride away with only 1 pit stop. I can’t imagine how many we’ll need this time around, but I’m thinking at least one every 2 hours, plus the discomfort of riding in a car for that long. I’ll be 4 days away from 8 months pregnant the day of the wedding, we’ll be staying with people I’d rather not, and the entire trip will occur over just 4 days. I know I can do it, I’m just nervous about being a nuisance on the drive. I did stand up for myself though, and told my husband that if he wanted me to go then we would have to leave earlier than we normally do, at noon instead of late afternoon, so he would have to take a half-day off at work. When we leave, we’ll leave early morning the day after, for the same reasons: I get worse in the evenings, so it will be exponentially harder for me to leave late.
I swear, some days I wonder how I’ll possibly live with this until the baby drops. Then I remember I don’t have a choice. So I live with it.