Normally when I hear about pregnancy envy, it’s in one context: women who want children but are unable to conceive. Today I realized I have pregnancy envy as well, in a different form. I am extremely envious of every woman I meet (in face-to-face contact, or over the internet) whose due date is before mine. I want that woman’s due date. I want it to be mine, so I can be done.
I am so damn tired of getting up, going to work, coming home, heaving myself out of seats, and being in constant pain, that if I could somehow steal a due date that’s sooner, I would stick some unfortunate pregnant woman with more weeks. It’s terrible, but at this point I’ve got countdowns of how many days left I have to work, and days until I’m due and they are just not moving fast enough.
I should mention that I’ve always been an “eat the food you hate first” type of person; in college, I did my entire semester’s worth of homework (for all classes) in the first 3 weeks. Procrastinating doesn’t work for me, and if you’re on time then you’re late. I wouldn’t have thought before now that my biggest challenge would be dealing with my inability to complete this pregnancy faster. Yes, I know it’s not good for babies to be born prematurely, but at this point, I don’t care very much. Intellectually I know it’s for the best, but that does not stop the daily surges of “hurry up and get this crap over”.
And the platitudes? The ones that go “yes, it’s a tough last leg, but at the end you’ll have a new life and it makes it all worth it!”? LIES. Those sentiments don’t make anyone feel better – they’re just trying to psych themselves into the last inning, when all they want is a designated hitter.
Maybe I’ll luck out and find out at my ultrasound on Friday that they can move my date up. Christmas could totally come early.