Life as a New Mom

A first-time mom adjusting to her new everything

Doctors now think I’m crazy. Or going to kill my child, maybe.


I really hope most people don’t have pregnancies like I have.  Because this whole thing has sucked, pretty much start to finish.  I’m over 38 weeks and still have to take Zofran for nausea, which has been constant since about 7 weeks.  I had placenta previa (that resolved), then they found the fetal cyst (that is shrinking), they wrote me out on short-term disability because I can barely walk thanks to a low fetus that they have to reach around to do my (now weekly) cervix checks, and now, most recently, I had ANOTHER ultrasound because I’m shrinking.  YES, SHRINKING.  I now measure a full 4 cm behind where my fundal height is supposed to be, down from my all-time high at 36 weeks where I was on track and had been until then.  So they wanted to check growth, and fluid levels, to hopefully “avoid a negative fetal outcome.”  Don’t you love that turn of phrase, “negative fetal outcome”?

The results of this ultrasound, true to everything else they’ve found wrong with me, were fine.  Baby is still growing, and my fluid levels are at the high-end of normal.  What they said that means is that I’m just a “compact carrier”.  I prefer to think of it as a concealed carry, but maybe that’s the hormones…

And, by the way, I’m still not dilated at all, nor am I fully effaced, so there is no end in sight.

But I did learn something.  A valuable something.  When you tell your doctor that things need to start moving along because you are sick and tired of being sick and in pain, and you are about ready to get a coat hanger, they immediately start to act nonchalantly concerned because they are afraid you are crazy.  They start asking you questions about if you’re excited (yes, TO BE ALONE IN MY OWN BODY AGAIN), do you have help, is your husband excited (no, he’s done nothing but write checks to you people for procedures that turn out to be unnecessary), and to please remember they’re there for you.  I just bet they are, because that’s a billable visit.

So now I’m on the loony radar because they think I’m going to harm myself or be one of the women that drowns their child in a bathtub.  What they don’t get is that I will be so happy to just have the whole pregnancy part over and done, that I will be the happiest clam in the sea when it happens.

Author: Torra

A librarian, dog owner, tea drinker, and lover of all things unusual and literary.

3 thoughts on “Doctors now think I’m crazy. Or going to kill my child, maybe.

  1. lol!!! I felt this way when pregnant too! I would cry at every appointment when my dr would say “see you next week”. We measured small the last 3 times as well and the third time at 39 weeks she decided to deliver because the ultrasound hadn’t picked up the extra half pound the baby put on, so it looked like she hadn’t been growing anymore. FINE BY ME I NEEDED THE KID OUT OF ME!

    • It’s so nice to know someone else hopped on the “getitoutgetitoutgetitout” train! I don’t think that I’ll get an early delivery since I had positive growth and the practice accepts ultrasounds as “good” for 4 weeks. I’m feeling a bit jealous…

      I think the doctors probably aren’t used to someone being upfront about thinking this waiting is B.S. Or most are just more excited about having the baby than I am, and they ignore the frustration and impotence, lol.

      • I tried all the stupid myths too… I highly discourage castor oil unless you want to poop your pants. These are the days when you need to have a BFF that is a gynecologist. Can you tip them? Slip a 100$ in their lab coat and get the juice to make this thing get to movin’!?

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