Life as a New Mom

A first-time mom adjusting to her new everything


Leave a comment

Am I the boat anchor?

Do you ever worry about things happening, when you’re not sure if it will even come to pass?  I have a lot lately.

We have quite a few people coming down for the 4th of July, and because we live 8 hours away from them, they’re staying 5 days.  Four people are coming in on the 29th, and staying through the 4th, and two are coming on the 2nd, and leaving the 6th.  All I can think is that for 2.5 days we will have 8 people (counting ourselves) in our home and I have no idea what to do with them or what to feed them.  Even more of a challenge, I’m not taking any time off from work because I need to save it for maternity leave.  I see days where I go to work, come home and have to feed 8 people, which is just overwhelming.

Being a reader of the fabulous Sandy Coughlin’s Reluctant Entertainer, I knew I could overcome the anxiety about feeding them by letting go of wanting it to be perfect and have everyone leave feeling like it was the best house party they’ve been to; they’re not coming because of the food, they’re coming to see us, so I know that as long as we spend time with them, they’ll leave happy.

But actually finding things to do with them concerns me.  Not because there are no options, but because they’re all outdoorsy, activity-oriented people, and frankly, I have no energy right now.  This pregnancy has me so fatigued, almost all the time, that I can barely get to work and come home to do one thing.  One thing could be cook a fresh dinner, take a shower, or do one chore, but I can’t do more than one, unless I’m having a really good day.  I know for the days I’m working, that thing will be cooking dinner.

Also, I can’t do a lot outside because the heat is already well past 90 degrees, so here’s my fear: I will be the boat anchor that weighs down the fun.

Maybe that’s a stupid worry to have, but I really want my guests to enjoy their visit, as well as get to do the things they enjoy with us, and right now I have limitations that might hamper that.  I’m hoping I can pull something out of reserves I don’t realize I have, but the worst case scenario?  My husband’s friends (that’s who’s visiting) will do things with him during the day, and I’ll enjoy time with them at a more sedate setting.  I struggle with this reality, but have to accept that sometimes that’s just the way things happen.

Do you struggle with feelings of being a burden, or the “not fun” person at the party?  How do you handle that as we move to summer, a season notorious for entertaining and parties?

Advertisements